Tuesday, November 20, 2012
WHAT YOU RESIST PERSISTS
Good day and I hope you are having a great week. Today I wanted to touch on subject that we all encounter in our daily lives but pay little attention to. That is, what happens when we are face to face with a set back from an emotional stand point.
Last week I shared with you how a project I was working on was derailed at the very last moment. Although I was blessed in the situation, the disappointment of having worked so hard and long on it was not any less painful. Now I consider myself an upbeat, and positive person, but I was really struck by the fact that this disappointment bothered me for quite a long time. I would say it lingered on the periphery of my attention for 4 days. That prompted me to take a closer look and led to the topic of this post.
You have heard me to talk about the before as a one of the ways of clearing resistance. One of the core tenants of this method is the need to allow whatever it is that we want to eliminate, to come through. It seems counter intuitive at first glance. When I first learned about this technique, I was struck by its simplicity but resisted the whole idea that I have to allow what I wanted to eliminate, and actually acknowledge that it is there and “welcome” the feeling.
The same is true with disappointment, depression, anger, grieving and any other emotional negativity that you may feel at different times. You have to allow it to come through. You have to welcome it. The more we try to resist and fight the feeling the longer it will linger and persist and to some extent gain power. From the stand point of is should be clear because as you are trying to resist, you are giving power and energy to the situation you DO NOT want and hence you will be attracting more and more incidences that will bring you the same type of feelings and emotions. What we resist definitely does persist. It is like being afraid of a dark attic. You want to go into the dark area but you are afraid and keep on avoiding it. The fear is there but you just ignore and move on to something else. Until one day you just face that fear. Allow it to come through and despite of it go into the attic, and find out that there is really nothing to be afraid of. In fact there are treasures to be found in boxes and those dark corners.
feeling like crap to get rid of it. I told myself “ok, I am going to feel the disappointment, and get angry and whatever it takes, but today is it. I only have today so make it good and get it all out”. I wish I could say it felt good. It DID NOT. It sucked. At one point I was on the verge of tears. I wanted it to work so bad. But then it did clear out. I stared seeing signs that I did indeed make the right decision. I saw an article on the U.S. Postal inspector’s website that went into detail about how similar ventures did not pay off in the end and why they were a waste of time and illegal at the same time. Seeing things like this started to make me feel better and helped me to move on to the next opportunity. None of it came to my attention however, until I just let it happen and felt the disappointment full on. As long as I was stuck on feeling the disappointment I was trapping my creative energy and I was not looking for other opportunities. So I had to allow the feelings to come out and be done with them.
It was easy in theory but our natural inclination, especially in the a Western society is to hide negative emotions. That is doubly true for guys, and worse for me because “I am supposed to be an expert on positivity”. Funny, that the more we seem to know about the subject, we are sometimes blind to the obvious. I am glad though I went through it . One, it will give my readers a perspective to learn from and two, now I know how to recognize when I am in a slump and instead of fighting it, I just have to use the concepts that I have learned in my martial arts life for over 30 years, and that is to go with the force of the opposition instead of resisting it. Allow it to come out. You have to recognize however, that most people will not be open to this. People do not like to see you depressed or angry. They will try to help you get out of it but that is fighting it and is only temporary, unless they actually listen and let you vent and allow the feelings to come out. So sometimes you may just have to do it alone. It is sometimes more productive this way. Allow those feelings to come out. Give them a time limit and then go for it. Feel as crappy as you want, cry, scream, yell, sleep all day if you have to, don’t be productive for a weekend, but let it out and then once it is out it is done. It had its chance and now it is time to move on. So move on. Don’t get stuck. Very important to not get stuck in self-pity. Channel your energy and be open for other opportunities.
I hope this was helpful and interesting. As always feel free to comment, either here or on our Face book page www.facebook.com/successwithL.O.A. and as always share this, PIN it and let people know where to find us.
Till next week to your success.