Tuesday, December 20, 2011

The T-Rex Lesson

Good day,
Today’s post will reflect the power of faith when it comes to the Law of attraction. For the longest time my little girl has wanted a set of dinosaurs, specifically a T-Rex. I was planning on getting a dinosaur set for her at Christmas. I had seen a nice set at Costco as I was shopping and every  time we passed by it she would ask me if we could get it. About 3 weeks before Christmas when I went by myself to pick up the set and wrap it and put it under the tree, to my dismay I found out, as it is usually the case with Costco, they had moved to another product in its place. So imagine how heartbroken I was that I had now lost the opportunity to get my girl the present she wanted because I procrastinated. I came home and told my wife about the situation and could see the disappointment in her eyes too.  However, the whole time my girl believed that Santa would bring her T-Rex to her at Christmas. There was not a single shred of doubt in her mind that come Christmas morning her T-Rex would be under the tree. In her mind that toy was hers. She already knew that it would be there for her because she had been a good girl and Santa knew that. That was the whole line of logic and no one could change that.
I was a little bit disappointed but I was certain that I would find something closely resembling that set  somewhere else.  So in the mean time we went to my uncle’s house for an early X-mas dinner. After my daughters played with their cousins and we had a great family time we decided that since we were not going to be together for Christmas they could open their presents now. Imagine my surprise when the first present that my daughter opened from her aunt was a set of little dinosaurs, and the second was a train set with dinosaurs on them, each having a different type of T-Rex.  I was so amazed and both my wife and I looked at each other and in unison uttered the words “Law of Attraction”.  
So the purpose of this story is that your beliefs will supper charge your goals, and your visualizations.  As adults we have to trick our subconscious into believing by repeated visualization and repeated concentration on our goals.  We have to specifically and repeatedly read out loud our goals and wants so our subconscious can hear it. The advantage that children have is that, they believe without the need for proof. They have not been tainted by disappointments to the point where they have developed sarcasm. 
Please take this lesson as it is intended. Concentrate on all of your goals and believe that they are coming towards you.  Imagine how with the right guidance our children can learn that the Law of Attraction works and they can use it to succeed. It may be a little harder for us older people to learn the same lessons but it is all a matter of how we look at things. This story can inspire you and push you to expand your horizon and believe, or you can scoff at it and make an excuse for the events that led up to it. For me there is no doubt that my daughter’s concentration and belief brought to her the little toy she wanted. But 5 years ago I would have chalked it up to coincidence or luck. It is all in our perspective. Whatever that perspective is will be your reality. There is no wrong way. That is the simplicity and beauty of the Law of Attraction. You have to be ready for it to work. No one can force it down your throat or wish it for you. It is a personal thing.
I hope this holiday season brings you joy, health and happiness and everything you are dreaming about.
To your success.

Tuesday, December 13, 2011


Good day all,
Today I wanted to talk about something that often comes up when I talk about the Law of Attraction with people of faith. Not always but occasionally there seems to be the misconception that you either have to have your own faith or to learn to use the Law of Attraction. In my case, and I can only speak for myself, there is no “or”, it is an “and”.
I consider myself spiritual and one who has a strong faith. I also as the long time readers of this blog know, am a scientist. I have in previous blog posts talked about the science behind the Law of Attraction and thus far have not brought the topic of religion out of the desire not to offend anyone. Recently however in some of my talks, I have been approached by people who question the Law of Attraction from the perspective of a threat to their religion.  Perhaps it is because of the Law of Attraction that I have brought on these incidences. For a long time I have wanted to talk about this topic and so I have presented myself with the opportunity to discuss it with people.
In a nutshell as a person who has a strong faith I really do not see how the Law of Attraction has anything to do with being a threat to any religion, orthodox or otherwise. It is like saying gravity is against my religion. The Law of Attraction is a universal law. Like all universal laws the source had a hand in it. Whatever that source happens to be for you, you cannot have some things and ignore the others. Well I suppose you can ignore it, but it does not mean they do not exist.
For the longest time people believed the Earth was the center of the universe. No matter how much religious strength they put behind it, they were misinformed. What I want to discuss here is the fact that you can be happy and committed to your faith, whatever it happens to be and still use the Law of Attraction to succeed.
The major tenet of the Law of Attraction is preached in every major religion in the world. Things like being good to others, be happy for yourself, have positive attitude, be grateful, good deeds are rewarded, bad deeds are punished, etc. The language and the delivery may have been different but the message is the same if only one is open to receive it. That is the key. The simplicity of the Law of Attraction is that whatever you believe will become your reality and you will find proof to back it up. That is just the way things work. I just want to bring to light the notion that the Law of Attraction is a tool to be used to become successful whatever that word means to you and that cannot be wrong or threatening to anything.
You cannot use the Law of Attraction to manipulate people, or to bring harm to them. You cannot use the Law of Attraction for someone else. You cannot want it for someone else. That is very much like faith. I cannot have faith for you or vice versa. The central belief behind every faith has to be accepted by the person alone and freely. No one can be truly forced to have faith in anything. There has to be a conscious choice and decision to have faith.
Some will use logic and try to justify their faith. Some will go on blind faith because that is what their ancestors have done. In both instances they have made the choice personally to accept that faith.
With universal laws that is not the case. They exist despite one’s acceptance of them. Just because a person believes in a God or source, or even nothing does not mean that by poking their finger in a light socket they will not get shocked. It is a universal law. Weather I believe in God or not if I jump off a roof I will fall. The same is true with the Law of Attraction. I can learn to use the Law or ignore it. Just like I can learn to use the law of gravity to understand lift, drag, and forces that contribute to flight, I can use the Law of Attraction to achieve success in every part of my life.
If you have faith it is just that much easier. You already know the comfort of believing something you cannot see. That faith can only help you in utilizing the Law of Attraction. I am willing to bet that if you study your faith in detail you will find hints to corroborate the Law of Attraction. The funny thing is that The Law of Attraction also hints to the existence of a source and the comfort is that it is applicable to any faith.
I hope this post has caused you to at least give a little thought to the Law of Attraction as a tool. I hope you see that it has nothing to do with religion. I hope you see that  it can only help you become happier, wealthier, healthier, and more at peace and that has to be ok with any faith.
I welcome your comments and discussions.
As always to your success.

Tuesday, December 6, 2011



Again out of respect for John I wanted to post his views when it comes to LOA:
"Regarding the Law of Attraction:  I believe first and foremost in a sovereign God who is in control of something as grand as the universe, and also in control in something as minute as the individual aspects of circumstances in our lives.  While I respect certain aspects of the law of attraction, I don't believe it's a science.  I do believe in cause and effect, and "you reap what you sow" but I don't technically believe that I can create certain outcomes based in my life based on my beliefs or true desires for those particular outcomes.  In the end, this is because I believe it takes away "control" from a sovereign God."

Enjoy the last part of the this interview:

AJ: How do you approach economic challenges right now?
JH: With faith. And what my belief is really if I am a good steward of what I have right now, if I am not being wistful to the best degree that I can be. If I am in control of our finances here, and if I churn the fat where I need to without… I try real hard not to cut payroll. I got to make sure my guys are still making a living in this economy. They are working their tails off here too. But I think if I am a good steward of what we have it will continue on. And if it doesn’t  then I’ll figure out what to do after that. I don’t necessarily have a backup plan because I don’t plan for failure. So good or bad I think a lot of people have exit strategies, I don’t really have one here cause I plan on sticking  around through this. We’ve made it this far through this economy so I think we’re going to continue on. We’ve actually seen some growth this year. We’ve actually grown 20% this year.
AJ: That’s great.
AJ: Let’s talk about faith. Faith is something in this day and age people are uncomfortable talking about when it comes to business. Tell me what your thoughts are on faith and how has it effected your business. Obviously being raised Christian is a big part of your moral foundation but how has faith effected your business?
JH: Well I could go on and on about this. Let me think of the right words. Essentially I have grown up a Christian. I am still actively a Christian. What I mean by that because Christian is a broad term this day and age too, I do believe what the Bible teaches and I hold it dear. I do believe that if it’s interpreted properly in the context that it teaches it is accurate and it does have all the tools we  really need to get through in business, to get through in life in general. It doesn’t say that you are guaranteed to make a good living. In fact it guarantees that you have more problems than anything else as a believer of God, but it does say that with faith, God will give you the tools you need to get through each situation weather it ends up being good or bad in the end. So by faith I don’t necessarily believe 100%  that we will always have a business, with faith I know I’ll always be provided for, so I do believe in a God that provides one way or another and that’s a big deal to me too. So that drives me to not worry as much about the slow days that we have because I know whatever happens we will have another busy day and things will always right themselves and at the end of the day when you get through trials and what not and your standing on faith to get through them that’s what  ends up building faith and confirming that you’re not just believing in something blindly either.
AJ: I am smiling because I did not talk to John about the whole concept of my blog and if you have read my previous blog posts on how the Law of Attraction works, and how to successfully set and achieve your goals, you will see where I am going with this. This lead in, in an interesting way to the whole meat of this blog and I am really happy about the way this interview is going and making a nice fit to the rest of the content of this blog.
AJ: What are your thought on giving back to the community and how do you think that effects your business?
JH: We certainly believe in giving back. We’re actually running . It’s funny that your bring that up. We are doing a give a way right now that we are advertising on our Facebook page and through our Twitter account, and our blogs as well. We’ve had what’s narrowed down to 4 nomination of families or persons through our Facebook page, who  are really in need of a little bit of auto repair.  We are asking now for people to go to our Facebook page, Like it, and then you actually vote for anyone of these people by commenting underneath their picture and their story based on why they actually need some help. Then we are going to give away $500 in value worth of miscellaneous auto repair on Thanks  Giving day. It is not going to be me who chooses it or anyone who works for me, it’s going to be chosen by the community who goes on to the page and votes for it. That page is at the top of this blog as well:
In terms of giving back to the community in other ways too, we give back in a couple of other ways. Through our business, we have sponsored a couple of international charities like Children’s Hunger fund.  We actually sponsor 2 children in particular, one in Africa, and one in South America whom we donate particular amount each month and that provides for their education and food for their family and things like that which actually help.
AJ: Why, why give?  Now that finances are tight, and economy is tough, why give, why not keep everything for yourself.
JH: We’re called to. I don’t know if it is just that simple. I know it is easier said than done. I know we’re called to but it is hard to because your natural instinct when things are tight is to grab on and hold on. Particularly what the Bible teaches is, talks a little bit about tithing of course, but there is one thing that the Bible does say about tithing and giving back to the church, but what the Bible I think really teaches is giving back not just to the Church but also giving out of your heart to community and to the people who are in need and what not. God sais trust me with even 10% of what you get and I’ll open up the whole storehouse for you. It is one of the only ways that God actually challenges us in the word to give and then promises that there will be fruit that comes to you for it. So you don’t want to give just because you’re gonna receive, but you can have faith that you don’t have to hold on to everything you have, because that is actually, and we all do it from time to time granted, but it is more of a symptom of greed that I like to acknowledge by holding on and not trusting in God with your finances.
AJ: Have you noticed a direct relationship between when you give and when business comes through?
JH: Mathematically not always, but we do it on a, I don’t want to say on a contractual bases, but we have a fixed monthly amount that we  give monthly to those world organizations that automatically draws from our accounts, and we try to give as needed to things locally. And at the end of the day we always had enough. So  you know I don’t expect right now to be a millionaire in this economy by any stretch, but we always had what we needed when we needed and I ‘d say that is something that God has come through on for us.
AJ: Any closing thoughts?
JH: I ‘d say if you want to open up a business  in this day and age do it. I’d just pray of course beforehand that you have the discernment  weather or not it’s something you should do but you have to do that weather you want to get a job anywhere too. It doesn’t have to be just a business owner that does that. I don’t have anything negative to say about it. You have a lot liability but there is a lot of rewards too and you get to potentially provide jobs for people who really appreciate it in this economy too. And I said there is nothing wrong with the risk of doing it.

Tuesday, November 29, 2011



Good day this is the 2nd part of my interview with John. If you missed the first part go to last weeks. 
I want to again start this with John's view on the LOA and out of respect for him I will put this quote at the beggining of each of these posts:
 "Regarding the Law of Attraction:  I believe first and foremost in a sovereign God who is in control of something as grand as the universe, and also in control in something as minute as the individual aspects of circumstances in our lives.  While I respect certain aspects of the law of attraction, I don't believe it's a science.  I do believe in cause and effect, and "you reap what you sow" but I don't technically believe that I can create certain outcomes based in my life based on my beliefs or true desires for those particular outcomes.  In the end, this is because I believe it takes away "control" from a sovereign God."

Now part 2:

AJ: What lessons did your parents teach their children at home as far as business? There are a lot of families that consider talking about money as taboo. What was it that was talked about in your household when you guys were at the kitchen table coming from a background where your parents were business owners?
JH: That’s a funny question because my parents did not spend allot of time talking to me about business. For my family it was more about morality, life lessons, and just generally dealing with people and bonding with people and what not. I do come from a Christian background where my calling is to love my family and love my customers as family to the best, in  a realistic way. I am not gushingly loving anybody who is a customer. I can’t possibly do that, but I think in terms of love there are a lot of different ways to describe that. It really is just treating them fairly, and serving them, being honest with them;  that goes along way. And letting people know that you appreciate them. There is a lot of general dynamic in our industry and others too where a  customer walks in the door and the business owner or whoever is the face of the business instantly thinks that “Oh I am doing you a favor because you walked in my door”, but really it is the other way around.  That was the big thing that my dad really tried to teach me, and that was that” customers can really go anywhere they want for the business.  There are allot of people that can put a tire on a car. There are allot of people that can put brake pads on the car, but they’re doing you a favor by coming to you and you need to always remember that and so you always want to make sure your prices are fair, that’s one thing. You don’t over charge people, but you could be fair. You don’t always have to be the cheapest but you have to be fair and you always have to back up what you do and really let people know you appreciate them. “
AJ: Sounds like good foundation. Now you said when you were in college you had a discussion with your father and he offered you the opportunity to BUY the business. What I am trying to get at is that people that have inherited the business without actually keeping it businesswise and separate the business and family have not fared so well. Was that something that you knew was coming? What expectation did you have?
JH: Actually I was in college and was working here. I was going to college 3 days a week and working here the other two, that was my college job if you will, and I didn’t have the expectation of taking it over. I was going to college for business. I eventually just grew in my role here. I started off just turning wrenches, and working on cars. Of course being part of the family customers would know me as my dad’s son and one of Mike’s boys and couple of my brothers worked here too, and it was a family experience and so I always made it a point to get to know the customers and do a little more than just to turn the wrench here and eventually I got to work behind the counter and work with him and communicating with customers and sales and what not. Then it just came to a point where I think my mom was pushing him to retire. She wanted him to get out of the industry and take a break and he had been doing it for 25 years, and he was in his 60’s and he came to me one day and just said if you’d be willing I like to train you up to run this place and if you want the opportunity too we could work out a purchase on it, but you’re  gonna have to do it full time and let me tell you that you will get a better business degree behind the counter than you will get at any college. (Laughs) Not advocating not going to college here by saying that , but that’s what he told me. So I know opportunity is only… it’s very hard to start a business and I wouldn’t mind starting one myself someday, but it’s great to have had that opportunity. Being that it was in the family I wanted to keep it alive and see what we could do with it. Bring a new generation to it. So I spent a year behind the counter with him just learning the ropes of accounting and learning the ropes  and ins and outs of actually running a business not just selling and working on cars, and getting to know the customers at a different level and what not. Eventually he felt comfortable and we worked things out and here we are.
AJ: What do you think was the key to make this business a success when your parents were running it, and what do you think are the keys that you are using to make it a success in this economy?
JH: The key to make it successful for him was repeat business. Generating new customers are great but your customers are your best advertising and I don’t think that will ever change. He built it up over time just through the word of mouth. He never advertised other than a spot on the yellow pages, and may be a quarter page ad or something like that. People are so inundated with advertising these days that it’s just in one ear and out the other. I mean every add looks just like the other so I mean you can’t built trust through advertising and you can’t built repeat business through it either. You just draw the people in just by doing your diligence, and doing good work, taking care of people and letting them know of course that you certainly appreciate their referrals. Over time that’s what he did. Of course you also have to have your work on cars stand up for itself too, because no matter how nice you are if you can’t fix a car you won’t be fixing cars for a living. So there was a high standard of character and high standard of workmanship. So we focused on that.  My focus now days just through this economy is using allot of modern technologies to continue on that word of mouth. I’m not a heavy advertiser myself, but we do know that no one really uses the yellow pages anymore. Obviously we’re all internet based, so we focus allot making sure we have a good reputation on line for the most part. One of the biggest thing is that we appreciate when one of our customers leaves us a good review online because people more and more these days go online to look up businesses and see what other people are actually saying  about them. Every business in the world will tell you they are the best, if they’re not then they shouldn’t be in business, but it means something else when someone else who is not paid to say it is actually saying that they are good. That is a huge thing for us. So just really foundationally the same thing my dad is doing back then is taking care of every person that walks through the door to the best of our ability, and really making sure that people leave pleased with our work.
AJ: What advice do you have for business owners today and also people who are looking to start their own business right now either because they are forced to or because they want to?
JH: It’s so risky right now. So hard because of this economy. On a practical side of that I would say if you’re going to start a business right now make sure you are in an industry that is needed. There is always auto repairs. It is pretty safe right now as long as you do a good job, because people still need their cars, and need their cars running and they need maintenance on them. I would say it is great to be bold and if you’ve got the capital or the intuition and the drive to do it START.  You know it’s definitely worth it, it’s definitely a good thing to be able to do. But I would say on a practical note make sure you’re in an industry that you feel will be kind of a need industry for some more time until this economy fixes itself.
AJ: What about owners currently in business, any advice for them as far as succeeding?
JH: For small businesses, your customers are your best assets. Got to really take care of them. Make sure you know that you don’t have a business without any customers so you can’t really lose focus on appreciation of them. You don’t have to go out and buy them gifts, but you just want to let them know you do appreciate them and that goes along way. As a business owner if you are not in the position to be the one in communication with customer like I am, you have people that are in that position and you make sure they know that too. I think that is the biggest key right now. They (customers) can choose to spend their money anywhere they want if they have the money to do it, and you’ve got to make sure they know they are appreciated for their stewardship with you.

Join us next week for the final part of this interview

Tuesday, November 22, 2011



Good day,
Today I had the pleasure of interviewing a local business owner in my town and I am sure you will find this interview very helpful and insightful. I want you to concentrate on the positive message and the sense of confidence that John Hawthorn exhibits in a sincere and honest manner. I also want you to realize how easily his faith guides him to making natural decisions and acting in line with the universal laws like the Law of Attraction even though I did not discuss the law of attraction in any way with him. In fact John wanted to me to put this before the interview:"Regarding the Law of Attraction:  I believe first and foremost in a sovereign God who is in control of something as grand as the universe, and also in control in something as minute as the individual aspects of circumstances in our lives.  While I respect certain aspects of the law of attraction, I don't believe it's a science.  I do believe in cause and effect, and "you reap what you sow" but I don't technically believe that I can create certain outcomes based in my life based on my beliefs or true desires for those particular outcomes.  In the end, this is because I believe it takes away "control" from a sovereign God."
AJ: Today I am interviewing John Hawthorne the owner of Hawthorne Tire and Automotive Services in San Marcos California.
John good morning, and thank you for your time this morning. Tell me a little about how your parents started this business and then how you became involved in it.
John Hawthorne: Well we have had this family business for 30 years this year, so we have been here since 1981. My Parents met in 78-79 and got married pretty quickly. They had each worked in the automotive industry before. My mom in particular. Her parents had opened and operated two tire shops in the LA area from 1950-51 and on which are still open today. So my mom literally grew up in that atmosphere and met my dad at a social function between two other local shops. Long story short, they met, got married and they decided to branch out and open up one of their own. They moved here to North County and decided to open up Hawthorn Tire. So they opened it up. They had me about 2 years later. Literally my mom raised me here in the shop. There is a little, what’s now a storage, that was my nursery room. Really early on so I think  I was literally raised here and I probably never really left it seems like. So other than schooling and what not I ended up back here. So it was a pretty established business for the most part while I was in college. My dad and I discussed this, he came to me when I was in college and wanted to retire and gave me the opportunity to purchase the business and long story short we ended up doing that about 6 years ago so I have owned it 5-6 years now.
AJ: Why did your parents go into owning a business as opposed to working for someone else? Did they ever discuss things like that with you while you were growing up?
JH: What my dad always said was that “yes the liability is always higher of course of owning your own business, but the responsibility and the onus is on you and you can control your destiny to a degree as a business owner. With hard work, with effort, with a little bit of grace too generally you are in control of your own destiny to a degree. He was drawn to that. He was a real entrepreneurial spirit, much like I am and he got the opportunity to open his own shop. They each had the experience he and my mom and wanted to provide a family atmosphere for the customer, and so that’s what we continue on here today, but I think the idea of ultimately being able to have control over how much income you can make is what drew them in.
AJ: How about any challenges when they started off?
JH: Back in the 80s when they first started off there wasn’t as much competition as there are today, but granted there wasn’t as much population in San Marcos that there is today too. Not long after that the University opened and so I think that started to draw in  a larger population and what not, and grow the city of San Marcos in lots of ways, but the challenges of course are always getting your name out there and letting people know that you are out there so you can get the opportunity to do some work for them. I know that was their biggest challenge starting off, so what they did starting off was to open up as a wholesale distributor and deliver tires and deliver parts, and then started doing service on vehicles with in a couple years after that. After they had casted a wide net and got to know allot of people and then built up a reputation for having a  personable type of business where  character is  highly valued and the customers really appreciated it. So after they grew the desire to have customers actually work on their cars they started doing that too.
AJ: Did either one of them have a MBA, or business school experience or was it the school of hard knocks?
JH: No my dad did not graduate college. My mom graduated college about a year ago at the age of 61.’
AJ: WOW congratulation.
JH: So neither one of them opened the business with a degree of any kind let alone a business degree. I myself dropped out of college and am running the business for myself.
AJ:  You have done well.
JH: I am a college drop out.
AJ: Most successful business owners I have met and spoken too, education as far a traditional education has not been a significant factor in their success or their failures.
JH: In my experience, yeah, talking with customers and getting to know people over the years and building relationships with people who have MBA, Bachelors, Masters and all that, really it is a door opener, it’s good to have, and I like to have one myself someday because I do value education, but business owner that I talk to value experience highly, highly, highly and people who like you referring to in the school of hard knocks, I mean people who get it in the business world are very highly regarded too.
AJ: So that brings up a question that I had not thought about. Do you think that a traditional business school prepares people to be employee mindset, as opposed to getting that education in the house from a parent that has a business and getting the real experience?

JH: I would say a traditional business degree will give people a fair foundation. It will definitely be an asset. I think allot of employees of businesses will make pretty good business owners in the end mostly because through experience you kind of end up knowing what it takes and what you need and expect from employees to be able to run a particular business. So I think a good business degree is valuable. Yes it is not everything. Because every business is its own entity. Each one has different needs. Each one is like a different person in a way. There are certain things that is required to survive and each one is different. So I can say even a trade school sometimes, is even more valuable to a degree. I know trade schools are really on the rise now. There is allot of generated interest from recruiters and what not.  People are thinking of trade schools as a more cost effective option for allot people. Given job openings if they know someone is specially trained for certain fields, that actually is really nice. So you can go and get a business degree and possibly fit in to allot of businesses, but allot of businesses want someone who fits in perfectly. So it does help to have a degree; it does open doors because in my opinion when I see people with a degree and what not it tells me that they have done their due diligence, they have put in the work.  They know how to put in the time and what not. Because they have committed to that to get a degree but it doesn’t mean they are going to make it pay or play so it’s not the end all.

Join us next week for the 2nd part of this interview.

Tuesday, November 15, 2011


Good day
I hope you are well and are getting ready for the holiday season. As the holidays are approaching I wanted to go back to a blog post I put out very early in the history of this blog about giving. I will put a link at the end of this post for you to read it. 

I want to encourage you not to forget those who are less fortunate than you in the next few months. Specially this year where people are concentrating on “things being financially tough”. Use the concepts you learned in the Law of Attraction to change that mind frame in your life and bring more success by giving. That’s right. Today more than ever you need to live from where you want to be not from your current “illusion” of reality.
Give with a joyous heart. Give with a smile. Give without expecting anything in return and see in the next few days how things will change for you. When you give you are sending out the vibration to the source that you are prosperous and successful and more opportunities and circumstances will come your way to keep you feeling that way i.e. successful and prosperous. Which is after all what you want.
Take a look at this earlier post on GIVING. Take a look at the reasoning and the logic behind it so  you can convince yourself it makes sense, then pick a cause or a person to give to.  Do not judge. It is very simple to judge, but you want to give from your heart with the good vibration of giving. Judging will nullify that vibration.  Do not give from a place of lack either. Do not think if I give I will have less. That is not the way to do it. In fact it is better not to even give if you are going to do that because you are sabotaging your effort.  Give from a place of joy with the earnest want to help.
I hope you enjoy this blog.

Here is a link to the blog post on Giving: GIVING