Tuesday, May 26, 2015
Good day and I hope you are having an absolutely awesome day today. This week, I am going to explore a technique I learned from Anthony Robbins that is so all encompassing of achieving success in life, that I could not help but share it with you. I want to advise you to read some of the posts that I have created links to entitled “SOME BASIC POSTS FOR NEW READERS” on the lower right hand corner of the main page of this blog HOME PAGE so you have the background information needed to get the most benefit from what I will share with you today.
Anthony Robbins said that “if you are having difficulty making decisions, it is because you are not clear about what you value in the situation”. That got me thinking about how often do we really take the time to define our values? If you have not thought about this, I want to give you a heads up that our values change. Take a look at this TED talk if you don’t believe me TED TALK BY DAN GILBERT
Our values change based on where we grow up, the people and cultures we interact with at different points in our lives, the materials we are exposed to and learn from at different points in our lives, and experiences we take part in throughout our lives. My values when I was 18 are not the same as they are now that I am 43. This is a BIG DEAL specially when considering the fact that the decisions I make are based on my values. To make things even more critical, the decisions I make at the time when I am most stressed rely on the most ingrained and habitual values that I have in my subconscious. Those values however, may not be representative of my current status. That is why it is so critical to review your values, and WRITE THEM DOWN AND REVIEW THEM REGULARLY UNTIL THEY BECOME YOUR NEW HABITS.
As most teachers point out, we have 4 basic areas in our lives. They are, in no particular order: 1) Spiritual, 2) Relational, 3) Professional, and 4)Physical/ health. You need to have at the very least 4 written statements that cover your values in each of these areas if you want to be clear on how to behave. I learn well from hearing parables. Most people learn better this way, because parables are not offensive or sound like we are being lectured to. Hence we do not react defensively to them, and learn the lesson in our own ways. So I want to share with you a parable.
There was a man who had everything planned in his life. He was big on planning. When things did not go as planned, he adapted and changed those plans. Because of his priorities in life, he chose to get married later in life and hence had children in his mid-30’s. The way he raised his children in his middle ages, was mainly dictated by the experiences he was exposed to in his later life. He had been a student of success, and had attended many classes, and even had taught adults on success principles. The basis of how people learn in his perspective was largely shaped by his experiences about how he himself learned, and how adults learned. Subsequently the way he taught and raised his children was as though he was teaching adults. This manifested in a “drill sergeant” or “instructor-pupil” mode of learning rather than a father-child way of learning. This resulted in much stress and unhappiness in his children and himself. His children felt, fear when the time of learning was at hand, and he felt frustrated as he felt he was failing his kids by not instilling in them the values of life.
If you are wondering this is my story. I was not clear about my values concerning the relationships with my children. Because there was no clarity, I defaulted to my experiences when faced teaching my kids, at times of stress. The results were not pleasant. The advice by Tony Robbins is changing the way I see myself in the different facets of my life. When I can clearly state that what is important to me in dealing with my children are the fact that they feel the love I have for them, and to know that what I want them to learn is to help them succeed in life, it make me deal differently with them, than I would in my professional life teaching a bunch of adults about basic financial principles.
I have sat down and wrote out in detail what is important to me in each of the four categories I described above. I urge you to do the same. I printed those and put them where I can see them. I put them on 3x5 cards and take them with me where ever I go, and I will do this until my behavior changes to reflect the new values I have now. This process will be repeated at least every year, to make sure my values have not changed as my life circumstances changes. As my children grow and react, I may have to change what is important to me with respect to my relations with them. As my business changes, I may have to change what is important to me. It is a fluid process and it is exciting.
From a Law of Attraction (LOA) point of view this makes perfect sense, but the reason I wanted you to read the basic blogs, is that this process takes us a few levels higher than our daily practice with LOA. I find this similar to automation in business. Instead of trying to produce our life by manipulating every aspect of it on a daily bases, when we get clear on our whole life values, we are essentially allowing the Source to bring us our life the way we want it to be manifested, and we don’t have take part in building individual parts of it.
There is nothing wrong with daily visualization and manifestation, but when combined with this exercise, it will exponentially elevate your level of success in life. Whatever that success happens to mean to you. I hope you enjoyed and benefited from this post. Share this with anyone who may benefit from it, and leave me comments on my Facebook and Twitter page. Until next week, to your success.
Tuesday, May 19, 2015
Good day. I hope you are well. I want to ask you to read this blog today in a different way perhaps. If you are slouched, or bored, or just feeling down, I want to ask you to bear with me and move your body a bit. Maybe do some stretches and movement to get the blood moving. Why? Because as you will see from this post the way you feel will have an effect on the results you get from the activities you perform. I want this post and this blog to be as helpful and as effective as it can be for you, and if you are reading it in a state of stupor or negativity you will not get the positive energy that I am sending your way. Now I know that maybe one out of every 100 person that just read this introduction will actually listen to me and get their body moving and their emotions high and positive before reading the rest, but let that one person be you. Thank you.
As I am writing this blog, I am in Iran trying to deal with my father’s stuff as he passed away. As part of trying to keep myself positive, I am reading Anthony Robbins’ book Reawaken the Giant Within. One of the thing he mentions is that we only do things based on pain or pleasure. This is something I want to concentrate on today. Not only success principles, and The Law of Attraction (LOA), bear this truth but also anything that you want to do in life depends on how you envision pain and pleasure. More to the point, how you frame your relationship to pain and pleasure actually effects your reality.
My question to you is, do you think you have control over pain and pleasure or do you think that life dictates this to you? As you are reading this blog, if you have been following its theme for a while, and understand the focus of it, you know what I am getting at? You know that the answer I am looking for is that you have complete control over how you feel pain and pleasure. But is that your true gut feeling? Do you actually believe it? I challenge you to go deep into your thoughts and emotions and ask questions. Asking questions are extremely powerful tools for changing our beliefs and our behavior patterns, and the way we feel. This is important because as you know how we feel dictates how we create our reality.
If you really feel that life controls you, ask the question is this the truth? Ask the questions, am I really that helpless? Ask the question how can I change the situation? Ask the question how can I change for the better? Ask what is the lesson that I can learn here? Even if you have made the same mistake over and over do not beat yourself up, but articulate what the lesson is? Whenever you have disappointments or challenges get into the habit of asking questions about the situation. At first it will be difficult because your instinctive response is to either get angry or lose control of your emotions, but even if you do that, I again caution you, do not beat yourself up, and as soon as you realize what you are doing ask questions. Ask the question is my reaction to this situation appropriate? Ask how else can I respond to this situation? Ask what is a better way of responding to this situation? And start controlling your reactions. At first you will be pissed maybe. That is OK. Being pissed is a better emotion than being helpless and depressed or wallowing in your own self-pity. But ask yourself is that helpful? Ask what is the better feeling I can reach for? It obviously will not be bliss and pleasure immediately, but perhaps it will be going from anger to hopefulness that this lesson will prevent you from making a bigger similar mistake in the future. See you have complete control of how you feel, by just asking the question and reaching for something that feels a little bit better in every situation. You have the control. Not taking any action is also an action. Remember that.
If there is a habit that you want to change start associating deep pain to those behaviors. For example as long as I have known I have had the habit of biting my nails. Whenever I get excited or when concentrating on stuff, I start to bite my nails. I have to start envisioning a deep pain, perhaps the looks I get or, the way I feel self-conscious when I have to point things out, or when someone looks at my hands when I am shaking their hands. I will even have to exaggerate those feeling so I can make myself feel pain and feel really bad so that the next time I reach to bite my nails those painful memories will come up and prevent the habit. I have to continuously reinforce them until the habit is changed. This is another way you can use emotions. In this case I am choosing to feel the pain to change a habit that is not productive. I can control how I feel at every moment. I just have to practice this control and not let emotions control me.
You can do the same thing. Asking questions works also when you want to reinforce good habits. The other side is that if there is something you like to do as a habit you want to associate pleasure to those actions. For example losing weight. You have to start associating pleasure to the act of pushing away your plate before finishing your food, and associate eating healthy food and vegetables with being energized and being able to take on the day with vigor and enthusiasm. Go ahead and associate those pleasurable emotions with those actions that you know are better for you and will contribute to your success. This is hard for most people, because we are always hard on ourselves. It seems to be easy to blame and put ourselves down than to praise and lift ourselves up. Remember you did not get those habits good or bad overnight, so this will be a process and will require you to keep on doing them over and over until they set in.
I hope you can realize that you can change your emotions at will. When I started this blog I asked you to stretch and get moving. Your body posture has allot to do with how you feel. If I read this blog to you in a monotone voice with shoulders stooped over, and my eyes sleepy you will soon feel down and tiered, regardless of the message. On the other hand movement causes endorphins to circulate into your bloodstreams. When you feel upset, or angry start to move around. Do not talk, specially self-talk that is negative and degrading. Get some brisk walking done or, go exercise, anything is better than sitting and going over the problem. I promise after moving around, you will feel a little bit better, and that feeling will bring a better feeling, and a better feeling and soon you are out of the rut that you are experiencing. The break will also give your mind a breather so when you come back you can actually concentrate on solutions.
Tuesday, May 12, 2015
Good day and I hope you are having a great week. I am really excited about this post. I want to talk to you about Habits. New experiences are what humans crave. Desires arise in us because we have a different vibration between what we have now and what we want to have, i.e. something new, or different. Even the most even keeled personality types, enjoy new experiences most of the times. For the purpose of this post, I am not talking about new experiences that bring discontent or hardship. I am talking about those really good experiences.
The thing is though, that new experiences are NOT WHERE WE SHINE. Think about it. What is a new experience? From the time we are babies we crave for those new experiences. Perhaps the first one being walking. The new experience of walking is not perfect by any means. We get up, hesitantly, and wobble, and fall. We get up again and try to hold on to something gaining a sense of balance, and then let go and fall. We get up again and gain… and that is where perfection happens. It is in doing the same thing over and over until it becomes a habit. Until it becomes something we can do without conscious thought. Until we can do it without thinking. Practice makes a habit, and a habit allows us the freedom to do things without having to concentrate on them.
The Law of Attraction (LOA) is also something we can build a habit around. It is in my humble opinion one of the most important habits we can create. Everything we are good at, is because it has become a habit. By the same token many of our resistances, and difficulties revolve around bad habits we have developed. Good news is we can change them by building new habits. In this post I want to bring to your attention that there is a reason you are here reading this post, and viewing this blog at this time. There is something that has vibrated with you to be here. You are looking for something to take control of your life, perhaps your future, but as Eckhart Tolle states in his book The Power of Now, it is only in the now that we can make anything happen.
The notoriety of The Law of Attraction (LOA), is relatively recent. The Universal law behind it though is eternal and is referenced in many spiritual texts throughout the history going back at the very least over 2000 years. If you learned and practiced the LOA because it was something new, and have not make the effort to make it a habit, I want to ask you why not? Is it not worth the time and effort to take complete control of your life? Is it not worth the time and effort to manifest your reality the way you want it, rather than going about hoping things will turn out good so you can feel good, and hope that the challenges will not be too bad, so your not so good feelings are short lived?
I remind you that everything we are good at is the result of building habits we want. You can build any habit that you desire, and I want to challenge you to build the habit of using the LOA on a daily bases. What this will do for you is to allow you to practice when things are ideal, and get good at it, so when challenges arise you don’t have think about it, and do the right thing so you can come out on the other side the way you intend to and not by default. Building a habit involves doing the same set of routines every single day for a period of at least 27 days according to many experts. Since I think this skill set is so important, and so should you, I tend to say do this for 90 days.
I can feel some of you cringing in your seats as you read this. 90 days? Dude, A.J. really? So here you go. I will make it real for you. If I was to postdate a $1,000,000 check for 90 days from now, and tell you to write out specific goals for your health, wealth, happiness, and peace of mind, and read them out loud to yourself twice daily, would you complain about doing it for 90 days? I think not. If I told you that you can have that check if you set aside 10-15 minutes in your schedule every day to find a quiet place where you would not be disturbed and visualize with all 5 of your senses things as you would want them to be, would you do it? If I told you that check would be here for you even if you miss a day, but you would have to start all over and do it for 90 days in a row, would you be excited? It is all true. Dude, it is worth far more than a measly $1,000,000 in your lifetime to build this habit no matter how old you are now. This decision to work on building this habit may possibly be the most important decision you make today.
Don’t just read this and say “cool, I’ll do that later”. Or worse just read it, or book mark it, or pass it along or any other action but making a decision to do the actions that will build the habit. The secret to this thing is that no one can build a habit for you. YOU HAVE THE TOTAL POWER TO DO IT OR NOT. If you don’t, what are you going to feel like in 90 days? But I don’t want to bring you another guilt trip, because you know what, it is NEVER TOO LATE, to build this habit. The check does not go away. It is here for you to take. 90 days. Or the rest of your life. Take this from the Source that created you in his image and gave you the unique ability to have freedom to think. No other specie on this planet does this. They all have been programmed to be driven by instinct. We humans, have this amazing gift to think ourselves into whatever we want. Yet most of us give up after a few attempts. What the %#$#@#^? The world is there for your taking. You will not hurt anyone. There is more than enough for all of us here. You just have to build the habit. Can you do it? Yes you can. I believe in you and can’t wait to hear about your success. If you want to have some basic instructions take a look at the link on the lower right hand corner of the page entitled "SOME BASIC POSTS FOR NEW READERS".
As always I hope you share this with anyone who can benefit from it. Leave me comments, questions, or thoughts and strategies on how you are going to build this habit on my Facebook page and / or Twitter feed. What are you going to do? Actions build habits. Thoughts should lead to actions. Actions should be done over and over for 90 days. After that you will not want to stop. I hope you will take me up on this challenge. Till next week, to your success.
Tuesday, May 5, 2015
Good day and I hope you are having a great day. Today I want to discuss a word and a concept that is very difficult for high achievers, type “A” personalities, and however you want to label people that go after success. That word is SLOW-DOWN. Personally when I am in the middle of allot different projects, the concept of slowing down does not occur to me, and when someone happens to bring it up in response to my frustrations, it actually creates a resistance point for me which is counterproductive to my success. Perhaps you have felt this way.
If we are in a neutral emotional state, we can always understand that slowing down is the best course of action in many instances. Looking at it from a Law of Attraction (LOA) stand point, imagine for example, trying to visualize and send out your vibration of things that you want. How much more successful will you be with all parts of this process if you slow down and concentrate on each individual part of that visualization, bring about the emotions of having it, and using as many as your senses as possible as opposed to trying to just get it done? It becomes rather obvious when viewed in those terms doesn't it?
Whenever I have tried to manifest something by just going through the motions of visualization, very rarely have I achieved the same amount of success as when I actually put the time in and slowed down and took my time. This is because when you are rushing things, your mind may be going at 90 miles per hour, but because throughout our civilization we have been rarely taught how to deal with our emotions, very few of us can reach the emotions that we need as quickly as our mind wants to move on to other projects and objects.
Slowing down when you are in the midst of something, even if it is going unproductively is very difficult to achieve. Most of the time when someone brings it to my attention, I personally happen to reach for a defensive response and get irritated and annoyed. It frequently will take me a good 20-30 minutes of calming down and analyzing the situation to realize that the advice was perhaps a very sound one. It is a skill set that highly successful people have honed to perfection. I am still working on this.
Ironically slowing down has also been preached in many scriptures and spiritual texts. It is a core foundation of many spiritual beliefs so it will also help you with your spiritual pillar. Slowing down is extremely important in your mental well-being hence why many successful people set aside time in their schedule daily to take time off, meditate, and slow down. Finally, the ability to slow down will not only help you in business and financial matters, it will also help you in your emotional and relationships as well, because the a major part of not losing control or getting angry has to do with slowing down. We sacrifice our relationships, and emotional well-being when we lose control and get angry.
I hope this brings to your perception of the importance of being able to slow down. As always if this post is not clear or you have any questions please click on the blue link for my Facebook page or Twitter feed and let me know. You can share this with anyone who can benefit from it and till next week, to your success.