Tuesday, May 19, 2015


Good day. I hope you are well. I want to ask you to read this blog today in a different way perhaps. If you are slouched, or bored, or just feeling down, I want to ask you to bear with me and move your body a bit. Maybe do some stretches and movement to get the blood moving. Why? Because as you will see from this post the way you feel  will have an effect on the results you get from the activities you perform.  I want this post and this blog to be as helpful and as effective as it can be for you, and if you are reading it in a state of stupor or negativity you will not get the positive energy that I am sending your way.  Now I know that maybe one out of every 100 person that just read this introduction will actually listen to me and get their body moving and their emotions high and positive before reading the rest, but let that one person be you. Thank you.

As I am writing this blog, I am in Iran trying to deal with my father’s stuff as he passed away.  As part of trying to keep myself positive,  I am reading Anthony Robbins’ book Reawaken the Giant Within. One of the thing he mentions is that we only do things based on pain or pleasure.  This is something I want to concentrate on today. Not only success principles, and The Law of Attraction (LOA), bear this truth but also anything that you want to do in life depends on how you envision pain and pleasure.  More to the point, how you frame your relationship to pain and pleasure actually effects your reality.

My question to you is, do you think you have control over pain and pleasure or do you think that life dictates this to you? As you are reading this blog, if you have been following its theme for a while, and understand the focus of it, you know what I am getting at? You know that the answer I am looking for is that you have complete control over how you feel pain and pleasure.  But is that your true gut feeling? Do you actually believe it? I challenge you to go deep into your thoughts and emotions and ask questions.  Asking questions are extremely powerful tools for changing our beliefs and our behavior patterns, and the way we feel. This is important because as you know how we feel dictates how we create our reality. 

If you really feel that life controls you, ask the question is this the truth?  Ask the questions,  am I really that helpless? Ask the question how can I change the situation? Ask the question how can I change for the better? Ask what is the lesson that I can learn here? Even if you have made the same mistake over and over do not beat yourself up, but articulate what the lesson is?  Whenever you have disappointments or challenges get into the habit of asking questions about the situation.  At first it will be difficult because your instinctive response is to either get angry or lose control of your emotions, but even if you do that, I again caution you,  do not beat yourself up, and as soon as you realize what you are doing ask questions.  Ask the question is my reaction to this situation appropriate? Ask how else can I respond to this situation? Ask what is a better way of responding to this situation? And start controlling your reactions.  At first you will be pissed maybe.  That is OK. Being pissed is a better emotion than being helpless and depressed or wallowing in your own self-pity. But ask yourself is that helpful? Ask what is the better feeling I can reach for? It obviously will not be bliss and pleasure immediately, but perhaps it will be going from anger to hopefulness that this lesson will prevent you from making a bigger similar mistake in the future. See you have complete control of how you feel, by just asking the question and reaching for something that feels a little bit better in every situation.  You have the control. Not taking any action is also an action. Remember that.

 If there is a habit that you want to change start associating deep pain to those behaviors.  For example as long as I have known I have had the habit of biting my nails.  Whenever I get excited or when concentrating on stuff,  I start to bite my nails.  I have to start envisioning a deep pain, perhaps the looks I get or, the way I feel self-conscious when I have to point things out, or when someone looks at my hands when I am shaking their hands.  I will even have to exaggerate those feeling so I can make myself feel pain and feel really bad so that the next time I reach to bite my nails those painful memories will come up and prevent the habit. I have to continuously reinforce them until the habit is changed.  This is another way you can use emotions. In this case I am choosing to feel the pain to change a habit that is not productive. I can control how I feel at every moment. I just have to practice this control and not let emotions control me.

You can do the same thing. Asking questions works also when you want to reinforce good habits. The other side is that if there is something you like to do as a habit you want to associate pleasure to those actions. For example losing weight. You have to start associating pleasure to the act of pushing away your plate before finishing your food, and associate eating healthy food and vegetables with being energized and being able to take on the day with vigor and enthusiasm. Go ahead and associate those pleasurable emotions with those actions that you know are better for you and will contribute to your success.  This is hard for most people, because we are always hard on ourselves.  It seems to be easy to blame and put ourselves down than to praise and lift ourselves up.   Remember you did not get those habits good or bad overnight, so this will be a process and will require you to keep on doing them over and over until they set in.

I hope you can realize that you can change your emotions at will. When I started this blog I asked you to stretch and get moving. Your body posture has allot to do with how you feel. If I read this blog to you in a monotone voice with shoulders stooped over, and my eyes sleepy you will soon feel down and tiered, regardless of the message. On the other hand movement causes endorphins to circulate into your bloodstreams.  When you feel upset, or angry start to move around. Do not talk, specially self-talk that is negative and degrading.  Get some brisk walking done or, go exercise, anything is better than sitting and going over the problem. I promise after moving around, you will feel a little bit better, and that feeling will bring a better feeling, and a better feeling and soon you are out of the rut that you are experiencing. The break will also give your mind a breather so when you come back you can actually concentrate on solutions. 

I hope you enjoyed this post and it was a benefit to you.  As always please feel free to share this with anyone that can benefit from it.  Leave me comments and questions on my Facebook Page and Twitter feed, and until next week, I wish you much joy and success. 

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