Tuesday, September 16, 2014
IS YOUR CULTURE HOLDING YOU BACK? RESISTANCE POINTS?
Good day and I hope you are having a great week. This week I am using some teachings I learned from a course by Jeff Reinke in his classes on “Men’s Skills” and applying them to the Law of Attraction to discover certain things that hold us back from achieving success. When I refer to success it is not just a material wealth, but whatever that word means to you. The goal of this post is to give you more tools to be able to recognize any limiting believe or hidden resistances that are preventing you from achieving your full potential with the Law of Attraction or anything else. Let’s begin.
Like it or not what we learn and are exposed to as children will affect us in our lives long after we have grown up, become professionals, have built businesses, become parents, and gone on with our lives. For many people, myself included, the red flags are so well hidden that we may not be aware of them. These red flags are perhaps cultural, or familial in nature. The way we were treated, as children, the way we saw our elders deal with challenges ARE ingrained in our subconscious. We can either ignore them, or understand them and learn from them as well as prevent them from hindering our growth.
The most visible sign that you are limited in some way is when you react to something automatically. Let me say that again. You need to pay attention to any situation that brings out an automatic response from you. Let me clarify this by an example. Having been born in the middle east, I was familiar with different marriage rituals of the region. I had heard of cast systems, and arranged marriages, and social status etc. Being educated and raised in the United States for most of my childhood, by parents who were also educated in the west, this was not an issue in my family. When in medical school, I met other students that were from the middle east. Some were born in the States but their family ties to the region were very strong. Strong family pressures on “who to marry” significantly affected their relationships with the opposite sex. I am not making any judgments as to positive or negative effect, but seeing it as an outsider, and comparing it to my non-middle eastern friends, I could see major differences. It does not even have to be a middle eastern tradition. The way people who are raised in the South treat relationships is significantly different than someone raised in New York City or Los Angeles.
Another example is when the emotion of anger suddenly erupts. Rational individuals suddenly express theatrics that are uncontrollable, and completely out of character. Have you ever lost control and become angry over something that in hindsight completely bypassed your rational mind? Jeff Reinke calls this Amygdala Hijack. Without going too much into detail, sometimes we react to “triggers” as Jeff calls them, that evoke a response that completely by passes our conscious mind. In a time of danger when our fight or flight response kicks in, this is a very useful mechanism, but in modern times it is usually a detriment.
The way to realize this is happening is to become aware of your emotions. There is rarely an incident that happens in a split second. The emotions are usually build up gradually but they are so under our radar, and so ingrained that we ignore them until the reaction is out of proportion to the stimulus. The reason goes back to our childhood, and that is where we can start the understanding and correction.
Jeff Reinke sates that if you find yourself out of control with one of these reactions, you need to work your way back to an incident in your childhood that evoked that emotions. It is an intense journey that can be done easily without a need for a therapist, but it does require a commitment and time. You need to sit in a quiet place and reflect on why those emotions came about and took over? Go back and see as far as you can when was the first time you felt those emotions and usually many of our issues are reduced to one or two underlying causes. Many people’s anger, and frustrations are reduced to a time when they were treated with anger, or when they felt helpless and out of control, or it may be a situation when they felt like they had disrespected someone or were disrespected and anger was the response.
With this background, I want to now go into how this effects your use of The Law of Attraction (LOA) and your success. When you stretch your goals, and reach for something outside of your comfort zones there is usually a feeling deep in your gut and jumps up. Do NOT ignore it. That feeling comes from somewhere in your past. The more in tune you are with what that feeling is, the easier it will be to go back and see where you first encountered that feeling in your life. Let us use the example of money as it is easily related too. If you set a goal of making $20,000 per month and your gut suddenly and in a subtle way says “bull shit”, there is a point of resistance that you need to uncover and deal with.
Clearing methods like EFT, and Sedona method are great, but I believe that you need to get to the core of the matter and be aware that you have a resistance to completely replace it. Notice I do not say eliminate it. You need to replace behavior that is not productive by one that is productive. When you start to go back you may have noticed times where you heard elders say things like rich people are mean. You may have had a bad experience with a wealthy person when you were a child and your subconscious related wealth with a bad experience. Someone you admired or even revered may have said or taught you that money corrupts. You may have been exposed to movies like Wall Street, where the wealthy were villains, and that may have made a mark on your subconscious . You see working this back you realize that it comes down to one thing. Money equals bad people. You don’t want to be a bad person, so subconsciously you will sabotage any opportunity that will enable you to be what you may consider wealthy. So you will place a glass ceiling on your income to a point where you are comfortable but are not what you see as being wealthy, therefore you are not out of alignment with your core value of being nice. No amount of visualization, or affirmation will get you past this if you do not recognize and make conscious the point of resistance.
Recognition will start the PROCESS of healing and changing. It is a PROCESS. You did not get here in one instance and the solution will not happen in one day either. You need to recognize then that every time the subject of wealth comes up you have a hiccup. You need to replace the feeling of “bull shit” with something positive. Read about philanthropists that do good with their wealth. Study great men in history who were wealthy. Change your attitude about wealth consciously over and over until it replaces that subconscious attitude that wealthy people are bad. The important thing is that now you recognize that feeling that comes up every time you set a goal. You have brought it into the light so it has less of a chance of sneaking up on you without you realizing it. It still may at times, but do not punish yourself. Recognize, and celebrate the fact that your recognized it. Continue to work on it.