Good
day and I hope you are having an absolutely awesome day today. This week, I am
going to explore a technique I learned from Anthony Robbins that is so all
encompassing of achieving success in life, that I could not help but
share it with you. I want to advise you
to read some of the posts that I have created links to entitled “SOME BASIC
POSTS FOR NEW READERS” on the lower right hand corner of the main page of this
blog HOME PAGE so you have the background information
needed to get the most benefit from what
I will share with you today.
Anthony
Robbins said that “if you are having difficulty making decisions, it is because
you are not clear about what you value in the situation”. That got me thinking about how often do we
really take the time to define our values?
If you have not thought about this, I want to give you a heads up that
our values change. Take a look at this TED talk if you don’t believe me TED TALK BY DAN GILBERT
Our
values change based on where we grow up, the people and cultures we interact
with at different points in our lives, the materials we are exposed to and
learn from at different points in our lives, and experiences we take part in throughout
our lives. My values when I was 18 are
not the same as they are now that I am 43.
This is a BIG DEAL specially when considering the fact that the decisions
I make are based on my values. To make
things even more critical, the decisions I make at the time when I am most
stressed rely on the most ingrained and habitual values that I have in my subconscious.
Those values however, may not be representative of my current status. That is why it is so critical to review your
values, and WRITE THEM DOWN AND REVIEW THEM REGULARLY UNTIL THEY BECOME
YOUR NEW HABITS.
As
most teachers point out, we have 4 basic areas in our lives. They are, in no particular order: 1) Spiritual, 2) Relational, 3) Professional,
and 4)Physical/ health. You need to have at the very least 4 written
statements that cover your values in each of these areas if you want to be
clear on how to behave. I learn well
from hearing parables. Most people learn
better this way, because parables are not offensive or sound like we are being
lectured to. Hence we do not react defensively to them, and learn the lesson in
our own ways. So I want to share with you a parable.
There
was a man who had everything planned in his life. He was big on planning. When
things did not go as planned, he adapted and changed those plans. Because of
his priorities in life, he chose to get married later in life and hence had
children in his mid-30’s. The way he
raised his children in his middle ages, was mainly dictated by the experiences
he was exposed to in his later life. He
had been a student of success, and had attended many classes, and even had taught
adults on success principles. The basis
of how people learn in his perspective was largely shaped by his experiences
about how he himself learned, and how
adults learned. Subsequently the way he
taught and raised his children was as though he was teaching adults. This manifested in a “drill sergeant” or “instructor-pupil”
mode of learning rather than a father-child way of learning. This resulted in
much stress and unhappiness in his children and himself. His children felt,
fear when the time of learning was at hand, and he felt frustrated as he felt
he was failing his kids by not instilling in them the values of life.
If you
are wondering this is my story. I was
not clear about my values concerning the relationships with my children. Because there was no clarity, I defaulted to
my experiences when faced teaching my
kids, at times of stress. The results were not pleasant. The advice by Tony Robbins is changing the
way I see myself in the different facets of my life. When I can clearly state that what is
important to me in dealing with my children are the fact that they feel the
love I have for them, and to know that what I want them to learn is to help
them succeed in life, it make me deal differently with them, than I would in my
professional life teaching a bunch of adults about basic financial
principles.
I
have sat down and wrote out in detail what is important to me in each of the
four categories I described above. I urge you to do the same. I printed those and put them where I can see
them. I put them on 3x5 cards and take them with me where ever I go, and I will
do this until my behavior changes to reflect the new values I have now. This process will be repeated at least every
year, to make sure my values have not changed as my life circumstances
changes. As my children grow and react,
I may have to change what is important to me with respect to my relations with
them. As my business changes, I may have to change what is important to me. It
is a fluid process and it is exciting.
From
a Law of Attraction (LOA) point of view this makes perfect sense, but the
reason I wanted you to read the basic blogs, is that this process takes us a
few levels higher than our daily practice with LOA. I find this similar to
automation in business. Instead of
trying to produce our life by manipulating every aspect of it on a daily bases,
when we get clear on our whole life values, we are essentially allowing the
Source to bring us our life the way we want it to be manifested, and we don’t have take part in building
individual parts of it.
There
is nothing wrong with daily visualization and manifestation, but when combined
with this exercise, it will exponentially elevate your level of success in
life. Whatever that success happens to
mean to you. I hope you enjoyed and
benefited from this post. Share this with anyone who may benefit from it, and leave me comments on my Facebook and Twitter page. Until next week, to your success.
https://youtu.be/zHNfsOpkmqk
https://youtu.be/zHNfsOpkmqk