Good day and I hope you had a great week thus far. Today I
pose the question not as an end all solution but to point out the characteristics
that I had forgotten I had when it came to resolving conflicts. What if children ruled the world? I do this
in the hope that it benefits you the reader or at the very least will make you
think the next time you are in a conflict.
Let me start with a story. I was recently watching a pee wee
football game. It was a very competitive and close game. Towards the end of the
game, there was a flag thrown that many in the stands disagreed with and it ended
up deciding the outcome of the game. Conflicts ensued, words were exchanged,
lots of yelling and lots of shouting went on for another 30 to 45 minutes.
I am sure you can guess who was doing the yelling and
shouting. Yup the parents on both sides.
Do you know what the kids were doing? For the first 5 minutes “players”
(the kids) on both teams, were mesmerized by the actions of their parents. Parents from both sides rushed the field and got
in the faces of the referees. Then
something amazing happened.
Both teams sat down on the field, slowly took off their
helmets and shoulder pads, and gathered together and started talking, and then
soon started to play random games together, or talked about their school stuff.
They completely tuned out their parents, and the results of the game.
As an outsider who happened to walk up when the conflict
happened I could not help be amused. The looks on the parents as they were going
to their cars in the parking lot was stress, anger, concern. The look on the kids’ faces before coming in
contact with their parents were joy, laughter, and harmony.
Somewhere between pee wee football, and perhaps late 9th
grade we lose the perspective of conflict resolution. What is it that allows children to get upset
one minute and go on playing the next minute? What an awesome skill to have. Can you imagine a world where conflict was
solved by 5-8 years old, and the rest of the world was run by adults? A world where adults had no say in arguments? No
say in who to go to war against? No say in whose ______ was better or worse?
What an awesome world.
I think the reason why children of that age have this
ability to move on, is the fact that at that age they see the world as “all
possible”. If I can’t have it now, I can
have it in a few seconds. I may not even
want it anymore. There is no
scarcity. There is nothing more
important than feeling good. Does this
sound familiar?
Children are natural teachers of the Universal Law of
Attraction (LOA). How awesome is that?
Yet as a father I am constantly overriding their natural instinct to just feel
good. How often could I just let them be happy? How often is it really necessary
for me to intervene? If I am honest
with myself much less than I actually do interfere. This is a lesson for me to
hold back and let my kids work it out for themselves, or to allow them an extra
leeway here and there. It also makes me
want to learn to behave more like a child the next time an argument comes up and
think to myself, will pursuing this argument make me happy? Is it really worthwhile
to be unhappy and win the argument? You have to be the judge in your case. I
hope this makes sense to you. As always please feel free to comment on my
Facebook page and leave me tweets, and follow me on Twitter. Till next week, to your success.
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